Day 5&6 - the first weekend test

The weekend presents more hurdles to a celibacy fast than I’d anticipated. First hurdle is all that time that we spend lazing around in bed. That’s what makes weekend mornings so glorious. Except that it’s an opportune time to have sex. After a lot of kissing and moaning about not being able to follow my body’s reasonable request, we went about having a very constructive day. That works as a distraction but not a particularly solid one.

Hanging out with friends at a braai was a lot of fun. There’s something a bit weird that happens when I see my boyfriend in public settings – I am reminded why I think he’s so cool. That attraction often leads to me wanting to do things to him. With that off the menu, Saturday night proved to be extremely difficult.

One of the lessons we were hoping to get from this fast was self-discipline. Remembering that when your hormones are charged and there’s a bit of liquor in your system is basically a miracle.
While he was on the verge of failing miserably, I managed to stay strong, steering us in the right direction. I didn’t want to but the last thing I wanted to deal with was post-orgasmic guilt.

Life any well-thought out plan, we do have an emergency button. I don’t want to go into too much detail about it but it doesn’t include us having sex. It had to be whipped out and after a humongous, well-deserved sigh of sexual relief form both of us, we passed out.
I felt like I’d just saved a baby from a hyena.

Sunday was the same but no emergency buttons were pushed but we spent a lot of time just being intimate through talking, kissing and doing other things that serve to remind me that I’m with the right guy.

I’m still feeling hyper in love, very secure and very loved. And weirdly more sexy and more sexual. Let’s see how week two goes!

DAY 3 – Could this be more serious than I thought?

When my boyfriend and I started this sex fast, it wasn’t something we took seriously. I didn’t actually think we’d go all the way to 30 days and I didn’t even realise that it would have any sort of real impact (aside from extreme horniness).

So it was a real surprise when on day 2, I started feeling a bit closer to him. I figured it was all a mental thing but lots of small changes seem to be cropping up. A conversation last night had us looking into how big a role sex play in our relationship. Sure we have sex, sometimes lots of sex but I’d never really thought about how much weight we may or may not give it.

We aren’t one of those couples that go without sex when fighting. Our sex life has been without problems but could that be a problem?

So now I’m looking at the fast through semi-new eyes. I’m actually considering that it might may us closer in other ways. Even though this isn’t something I would sign up for indefinitely, I’m interested to see what the benefits are (if there are any) would be.

Even after the deep and insightful conversation, I still wanted to have sex but this time, instead of bitching, moaning and trying to put the moves on my dude, I said my prayers, kissed my man and went to sleep.

#stillwinning (or so I think)

Day 2 - wine and celibacy are NOT compatible

Day two, much like day one went by pretty smoothly. Since I rarely get myself hot and bothered at work, celibacy isn’t an issue during the week when I’m away from my partner.
When I went home, I had a couple of glasses of red wine. Red wine has always had the same effect on me; it makes me drunk quickly and makes me really horny. Last night was no different but I only realised how I was self-sabotaging after my second glass.
The wine plus the fact that my boyfriend was being his usual charming, loveable, sexy self, did nothing for my fast.
Bedtime was accompanied by a lot of kissing, loads of “appropriate” (bordering on inappropriate) touching and quite an annoying amount of frustration. I was having internal conversations along the lines of “why am I actually doing this. I could just end it and it will feel sooo good.” I know better though – first off, my man won’t budge (at least not on day 3) and I’m not that weak.

So eventually I dosed off, slept peacefully and woke up feeling the same – damn you hormones and very healthy libido:).

On the flipside, an interesting potential side effect of this celibacy is that I’m feeling more in love. Granted I generally feel in love most of the time but there’s a little some extra that’s happening. I like it. I wonder if it really is linked to the celibacy thing, although it is too early to tell.

Day 1 - a walk in the park

30 days without sex doesn’t seem like so much of a big deal. When you’re living together and you have regular, really really really great sex (I speak for myself here), it gets a bit tricky.
When we started speaking about this fast, it was all a joke. Then we figured why not? How hard can it be and surely we are stronger than that. So like with all things, there must be rules. The fast means no sexual play of any kind. No sneaky manual action, no inappropriate boob play, no oral anything (except kisses). So basically no contact with the peen. None! Zero! Nada!. That’s quite a big ask if you ask me but I’ve signed up for this.

Last night was the first night of the fast. It obviously wasn’t impossibly hard but there’s something about ‘forbidden fruit’ that makes it that much more exciting. I was tempted, more than once, to be a seductress. I don’t know why but I wanted to make this experience as difficult as possibly for my boyfriend. When he threatened to make it difficult for me too, I decided that we need to work as a team to make this work.

Bedtime on day one constituted of lots of kissing and talking – I actually loved it. Although we speak all the time, there was something quite intimate about our bedtime chat. I felt warm and fuzzy and it wasn’t induced by any kind of orgasm- so I’m feeling quite good right now. And I slept like a baby.
So day one is done and dusted and proved to be quite a breeze.

DIFFICULTY RATING – 1.5% #winning

A Season For Fasting

I've become quite notorious at setting up blogs that I never actuall do anything about. Day one starts of with me being very excited about writing about things that have nothing to do with work. By day 3, I've lost interest and am going on with regular life stuff and complaining about how I never get to write.

So this is my attempt to finally change it. I'm trying to be more disciplined, on several fronts. Areas that require discipline:
1. Writing more - even though writing is what I do for a living, I no longer write. Soon I will forget how and then I wont know what to do with myself.
2. Smoking - I smoke too damn much and it's not a good look.

So while I'm learning discipline, my manfriend and I have decided to take fasting to another level. Going without sex for 30 days !

It sounds crazy to me but if nothing else I guess we'll see if we can do it.